Keeping Cake Weird!

Understanding Us Doesn't Come Easy...

                            

GEMINI...                

...don't slow or dumb down, so try to keep up.

...often find themselves deeply involved into their own minds that they forget about the world.

...nature isn’t to be angry and aggressive. If they are towards you, chances are you gave them reason to be.

...traits: mental brilliance, diplomacy, vivacity, enthusiasm, tact, discreet, witty, versatile, prevaricate, indecisive and untidy.

...think imitation is the sincerest form of unoriginality.

...tend to manage their emotions a little better as they get older.

...cannot be tamed. Any effort is a wasted one!

...are undoubtedly talented in being able to go with "the flow of life."

...are sometimes torn between logic and their emotions.

...women will share just about anything with their loved ones.

...women are enthusiastic to the point of impatience.
...are fussy with the company they keep. They don't like to be surrounded by negative vibes.

...are imaginative, generous, and affectionate, but their frequent desire for change can make them unsatisfied with the current.                 

...are not obsessive lovers. They love and let live, and never wallow.

...are happy living for the moment. There is no time like the present.

...are talkative but selective with the conversation.

...can build you up from nothing or cut you down from everything; they will treat you like a priority, until you treat them like an option.

...favor intellect over looks. The more complex the mind, the better.

...can change their mind about anything, and won't blink an eye. Nor do they have remorse about it.
...make haste in exposing what's real from what's fake. Be warned, they will say what needs to be said.

...will make chase of you, if they really like you. But, only once.

...will accept nothing less than love, trust, and communication.

...try to be brutally honest in the kindest ways possible.

...suppress a lot of deep emotion. They are picky with what people should know about them.

...know they cannot always rely on people.         

...are always cautious of making any commitments.

...will not budge, if they don’t feel like doing something.

...don't like it when people beat around the bush; just get straight to the point if you have something to say.

...women often hide strong feelings until they know their partner is genuine and sincere.

...do not take disappointment lightly. If you are not going to follow through with what you say you will, keep your mouth shut.

...aren't nosey. They are just curious and love to seek answers.

...will do their own thing regardless of what others think.

...has a hunger and thirst for knowledge and information, so if you can teach them something, you will be held in high regard.

...is the most difficult to understand. Their attitude can be hot and cold almost at the same time.
...will often give you the silent treatment, just so you can think long and hard about what you've done.

...will not allow anyone to take advantage of them in any given situation, no matter how close you may be.

...hate asking for favors or help, they pride themselves on being independent.

...can go from cuddly, caring and loving to quiet, cold and detached in seconds.   

And finally...NEVER EVER attempt to 'clip their wings.' You may just find yours broken.

No, I DON’T want to 'bang on that drum' all day…

    I’m scared. I’m happy. I’m uncertain. I’m motivated. I’m worried. I’m relieved. I’m cynical. I’m realistic. I’m eager. I’m paranoid. I’m smart. I’m stupid. I’m thoughtful. I’m thoughtless.

    So is the depth of my mind, my emotions, lately…because it’s finally, finally, finally happened. 

    I’m employed. 

    Someone very smart, or very risk-taking, has given me a shot at training for a job. A position that involves precision work. So precise, that other’s lives depend on me getting it right. 

    But, hey, no pressure.

    Actually, the ‘precision work’ goes through a check-point process; at least four other people have to ‘O.K.’ my task. And since I’ve been told that no one walks into this job knowing exactly what to do, I don’t have to feel tense. 

    Only, I do sometimes…okay, most of the time. But I know I need to ease up on myself. My co-workers are a friendly bunch, and about a dozen of them have told me that it would take anyone weeks-to-months to master the task at hand. 

    Phew! Okay, thanks…however, I need to prove myself. So I won’t screw around. I’ve been given a shot at a job. Even been (officially) hired in the last week. You like my eagerness? My motivation? Well, I’ve got it in gallons! Six years of not being able to deposit a paycheck will do that to a person. 

    I call myself a ‘retired nursing assistant’. It’s true in its own oddball way; I don’t live on some pension and gold watch after years of service in the care-giving community, of course. (Professional, and non-professional care-givers know that never happens) I simply drew the short straw of being afflicted with a muscle-enflaming, bone-gnawing, cartilage deterioration. 

    I did manage to throw myself back into school off-n-on. In the in-between time I searched for work I could manage. I never appreciated how unforgiving H.R. people can be if you have large gaps of employment in your résumé. (I’m not even one of those ‘stay-at-home’ moms…as if they stay-at-home!)  But, remember that trending story last year about how employers were being more lenient about those ‘gaps’?  

    Yah, I didn’t believe it either. I still don’t. It took thirteen months, two government human services offices, and a contracted job developer, (or, ‘hidden job finder’) to find a place that would allow my foot in the job-training door. I still have a week before my final evaluation. 

    I’ll really be sweating then!

    But it turns out this employer was looking to train others…God bless’em! I’ve never said ‘Please’, ‘Thank you’, ‘Good morning’, and ‘How are you, today?’ so much in my life than I have in the last three weeks! And I’m actually smiling all day, too! Another staff-member once shook their head at me and chuckled about it. “You’re always smiling. Why are you so glad to be here?”  Yes, they really asked that question. 

   I gave them the short answer. But in my head I was jabber-jawing the reasons…

* I’m happy to be able to bitch like a real tax-payer again! 

* I’m glad to have an important place to go to everyday; my ass is so tired of causing that divot in the easy-chair, for pity’s sake.

* I’m tired of judgmental (possibly Republican) know-it-all’s secretly thinking I’m some free-loader on my family; only my family has understood that my unemployment was personally humiliating to me, manifesting cynicism and depression.

* I’m thrilled that I can fill up the gas tank on my own again!

* I want to thank the State of Oregon for the year of college financial aid they gave me, by happily paying it back!

* I’m even more thrilled that I can be a contributing part of the economy. (Department stores, here I come! All my clothes are seven years old!)

* I’m relieved to be able to restart a savings account again. (Regarding that last comment? Hell, I love shopping, but I’m not crazy enough to go on a splurge-nutty!)

* I’m especially grateful that the job is an arthritis-friendly, ‘siddown’ position. (Thank you Heaven for that!)

    However, I won’t let go of my paranoia or realism. After all, it keeps this Gemini grounded. 

An Ode to Academia

I have two, precocious, young nieces,

Who say things that leave me in pieces!

They remind me of early Coca and Burnett,

Causing many a snerk, a guffaw, and yet,

Each can be thoughtful, and full of creativity,

before they’re back to boundless energy.

They love chasing their chickens,

And playing with their dogs and cats,

managing to do it, while wearing minion hats.

They just started school, and sport uniforms,

But it’ll be years before they’re judging dorms.

After all, the youngest is just entering school,

And she’ll have to decide if it’s cool.

While the eldest struts her stuff into her fifth year,

Back-pack on her shoulders with all of her gear.

And, at last, Mom & Dad can breathe a little easier;

summer vacay is over, and the girls go to bed sooner.

Their rooster, Fat Amos, will wake them

each morn before the sun even pops up.

Unless it’s the neighbors first with,
“Shut the fuck up!!”

A Childfree Parent

Metaphorically speaking, I have one kid.

Like any parent, I know where my kid is at ALL times. I make sure she's looked after, treated well, take care of her when she's sick or needs help, clean her when she's dirty, talk to her, put her to bed at night, wake her up in the morning, don't let others use, abuse, or touch her inappropriately, (and if they do I get VERY angry!) dress her in different outfits, leave her 'reminder' Post-Its, work with her on homework, and carry her when we go places. (Though she's a little heavy)

Sometimes I'll take her with me to the library. We draw and paint, we read, watch movies, or listen to music together. We ask questions of each other, and expect answers. Every once in a while she's stubborn, and makes me wait for her to do things I directed her to do. She's too grown up for a baby-sitter, so I just let her hang out peacefully at home when I go out. (And lock the door behind me!) 

She rarely gets into trouble, and, surprisingly, never sasses me. She's great about giving me my mail, and lets me know when I have messages. She tends to correct my spelling, but never judges me. 

When others tell me she's not exactly hip or cool, make fun of her to her face, or snidely comment that she has a weight problem, she never gets sad, because she knows she's exactly what I always wanted; that I'll never give her away, and that she's very important to me.

And one day, when she's far too ill for me to help her, and passes away, I'll donate her organs so that other kids will have a brighter future.

I call her 'Della'.